Why EMDR Doesn’t Need You to Remember Everything

If you’ve ever sat in therapy and said, “I feel like I can't remember anything before I was 20,”  or "I just don't seem to have a lot of memories," you’re not alone. Many people think EMDR (or therapy in general) requires a crystal-clear memory—dates, details, exact sequences—but that’s not how trauma works, and it’s not how healing works.

Your Brain Stores Trauma Differently

Traumatic experiences are often encoded as sensations and reactions, not stories. When something overwhelming happens, your brain prioritizes survival—not narration. That means what’s left behind may feel like:

• A tightness in your chest

• A smell you can’t explain

• A sudden rush of fear

• A belief like “I’m not safe” or “Something is wrong with me”

These fragments are not mistakes. They are your brain’s fingerprints of what mattered most in the moment—what helped you stay alive.

You may not remember what day something happened, but your body never forgot how it felt.

EMDR Works With What You Have

EMDR doesn’t require a full story because it doesn’t try to reconstruct the past—it helps the brain finish processing what got stuck. Researchers like Francine Shapiro and Laurel Parnell have shown that EMDR can work with:

• Implicit memories (the ones you feel, not see)

• Preverbal experiences (from before language)

• Emotional patterns that repeat

• Body-based reactions you can’t rationalize away

Your brain already holds the material. EMDR simply activates the system that knows how to resolve it.

You Don’t Need Perfect Recall—Just the Present Clue

What do we use as the doorway into healing?

• The anxiety that flares at work

• The shame you can’t explain

• The panic that arrives “out of nowhere”

• The belief that still hurts

Whatever is bothering you today becomes the access point for what your brain couldn’t process back then.

You are not asked to remember everything.You are asked to notice what still hurts.

From there, your brain—remarkably, wisely—does the rest.

✨ Share this with someone who keeps saying, “I don’t remember enough for therapy to help.” They deserve to know that memory isn’t the prerequisite—readiness is.

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About the Author

Brittany Rickett, Bachelor of Education, MA in Counselling Psychology, CCC, CCS LCT

Brittany Rickett, MA, LCT, CCS, is a licensed therapist and the Clinic Director of 3 Rivers Counselling in St. Stephen, New Brunswick. With over a decade of experience in education before moving into clinical work, Brittany brings a grounded, compassionate approach to therapy that blends neuroscience with evidence-based modalities. She integrates EMDR, Internal Family Systems (IFS), Somatic work and Polyvagal-informed practices, supporting clients through trauma, stress, and life transitions.