5 Ways to Calm Your Nervous System When You Feel Overwhelmed

There are moments when everything just feels like too much.Your thoughts are racing, your body feels tense, and even small decisions feel overwhelming.

If you’ve been there, you’re not alone—and more importantly, there’s nothing wrong with you.

What you’re experiencing is your nervous system doing exactly what it’s designed to do: respond to stress.

Your nervous system is constantly scanning for safety and threat. When it senses overwhelm, it shifts into protection mode—often called fight, flight, or shutdown. This doesn't mean there is something wrong with you. It’s a natural body response.

Here are five simple, evidence-informed ways to start.

1. Slow the Exhale (Your Nervous System's Built-In Reset)

When you’re overwhelmed, your breathing often becomes shallow and quick. This keeps your body in a stress response.

Slowing your breath—especially your exhale—can help signal safety to your nervous system.

Research shows that slow, diaphragmatic breathing increases parasympathetic (calming) activity and reduces stress and anxiety . Longer exhales in particular help activate the vagus nerve, which supports relaxation .

Try this:

• Inhale for 4

• Exhale for 6

• Repeat for 2–3 minutes

Reminder: Lengthen your exhale to tell your body you’re safe.

2. Orient to Your Environment

When your nervous system feels overwhelmed, it often acts like you’re in danger—even when you’re not.

This might look like your heart racing while you’re just sitting at your desk, your mind jumping to worst-case scenarios, or feeling suddenly irritable with your partner or kids over something small. You might notice your body feels tense or restless, like you can’t settle, or the opposite—feeling shut down, foggy, or disconnected. Even simple tasks like answering an email or making dinner can start to feel like too much.

These are all signs your nervous system has shifted into protection mode—not because something is wrong, but because your body is trying to keep you safe.

The orienting response is a natural, body-based way your nervous system looks for safety in the

present moment. In approaches like Sensorimotor Psychotherapy, this is understood as your body’s instinct to turn toward what feels safe, neutral, or even just interesting in your environment—before your thinking brain catches up. Linda Thai often speaks about orienting as a gentle way to “come back into the room,” using your eyes, head, and body to notice what’s around you and begin shifting out of a stress response. It’s simple, but powerful—because you’re not forcing yourself to calm down, you’re letting your nervous system find safety again on its own.

One simple way to interrupt this is through orienting.

Slowly look around your space:

• Let your eyes find the edges of your space - the walls, the ceiling, the floor

• Let your eyes find a nature element - inside the room or outside a window

• Name/Label 5 things you can see

• Notice colours, light, shapes

• Let your eyes move slowly, finding their way around the room

This taps into something called neuroception—your brain’s ability to detect safety or threat without conscious thought .

Reminder: Let your eyes show your body that you’re safe.

3. Add Gentle Movement

When your body is activated, it’s holding energy that was meant for action.

Trying to “calm down” by sitting still doesn’t always work—because your body hasn’t finished the stress response.

In trauma-informed approaches, including The Body Keeps the Score and Waking the Tiger, this is understood as unfinished survival energy. Your nervous system prepares you to fight or flee—but in everyday life, we often don’t complete that response. Instead, that energy stays in the body.

You might notice this as:

• restlessness or the urge to pace

• tight shoulders or a clenched jaw

• tapping your foot or feeling like you can’t sit still

• a sense of “pressure” or activation that won’t settle

Levine describes how animals in the wild naturally discharge this energy through shaking or

movement after a threat has passed. As humans, we’ve often learned to override that instinct.

This is why gentle movement can be so helpful. It gives your body a way to complete the stress response.

Try:

• going for a short walk, even just around the room

• slowly stretching your arms, neck, or back

• shaking out your hands or legs

• rocking gently or shifting your weight side to side

It doesn’t have to be structured or intense. The goal isn’t exercise—it’s release.

Reminder: Your body doesn’t just need to relax—it needs a way to move through what it’s holding.

Movement helps complete the stress cycle and brings your system back toward regulation.

4. Use Temperature to Shift Your State

Your nervous system responds quickly to sensory input—and temperature is one of the fastest ways to create a shift.

For example, splashing cold water on your face or holding something cool can activate the vagus nerve, helping your body slow down and settle. Warmth, like a cup of tea or a heating pad, can create a sense of comfort and safety. Even stepping outside and feeling a change in air temperature can help interrupt that “stuck” overwhelmed feeling.

These small changes can influence your physiological state and help your body move out of overwhelm.

Reminder: Small sensory shifts can create big internal changes.

5. Create a “Glimmer” Anchor

Your brain has a natural tendency to focus on what’s going wrong. This is called negativity bias—and it means overwhelm can feel bigger and more constant than it actually is.

One way to work with this is to intentionally collect glimmers—small moments of safety, connection, or pride.

This might look like:

• A photo that makes you smile

• A note reminding you of something you handled well

• A moment you felt calm, proud, or connected

• An object from a place that brings you a sense of calm

• Even a quick youtube video of puppies or kittens can work!

Keep these somewhere visible or easy to access.

Over time, this helps your brain build evidence of safety and success—not just stress.

Reminder: Collect evidence that you’re doing better than you think.

A Little Self Compassion

There will still be hard days. Sometimes hard weeks.

Your nervous system will naturally highlight those moments more than the good ones—that’s how it’s wired.

This isn’t a failure. It’s biology.

The goal isn’t to never feel overwhelmed. It’s to have tools that help you move through it with more awareness and support.

Therapist tip: We want to think of our nervous system's not as 'bull's eye' targets, but as rubber bands. There will always be challenges but if we keep flexing and gently stretching the rubber band, it will be supple and flexible - and return to it's natural shape.

When You Want More Nervous System Support

These kinds of tools are often just the starting point.

In therapy, we go deeper—learning how your nervous system works, building strategies that actually fit your life, and creating space for self-compassion (especially if you’ve been hard on yourself for “not coping better”).

Overwhelm is part of being human—but you don’t have to stay stuck in it.

About the Author

Brittany Rickett, MA in Counselling Psychology, CCS, LCT

Brittany Rickett is a licensed therapist and the Clinic Director of 3 Rivers Counselling in St. Stephen, New Brunswick. With over a decade of experience in education before moving into clinical work, Brittany brings a grounded, compassionate approach to therapy that blends neuroscience with evidence-based modalities. She integrates EMDR, Internal Family Systems (IFS), Somatic work and Polyvagal-informed practices, supporting clients through trauma, stress, and life transitions.